Eclipse - Chapter 24

Snap Decision

ILAY FACEDOWN ACROSS THE SLEEPING BAG, WAITING for justice to find me.

Maybe an avalanche would bury me here. I wished it would. I never wanted to have to see
my face in the mirror again.

There was no sound to warn me. Out of nowhere, Edward's cold hand stroked against my
knotted hair. I shuddered guiltily at his touch.

"Are you all right?" he murmured, his voice anxious.

"No. I want to die."

"That will never happen. I won't allow it."

I groaned and then whispered, "You might change your mind about that."

"Where's Jacob?"

"He went to fight," I mumbled into the floor.

Jacob had left the little camp joyfully - with a cheerful "I'll be right back" - running full tilt for
the clearing, already quivering as he prepared to shift to his other self. By now the whole
pack knew everything. Seth Clearwater, pacing outside the tent, was an intimate witness to
my disgrace.

Edward was silent for a long moment. "Oh," he finally said.

The tone of his voice worried me that my avalanche wasn't coming fast enough. I peeked up
at him and, sure enough, his eyes were unfocused as he listened to something I'd rather die
than have him hear. I dropped my face back to the floor.
It stunned me when Edward chuckled reluctantly.
"And I thoughtI fought dirty," he said with grudging admiration. "He makes me look like the
patron saint of ethics." His hand brushed against the part of my cheek that was exposed. "I'm
not mad at you, love. Jacob's more cunning than I gave him credit for. I do wish you hadn't
asked him, though."
"Edward," I whispered to the rough nylon. "I . . . I . . . I'm -"
"Shh," he hushed me, his fingers soothing against my cheek. "That's not what I meant. It's
just that he would have kissed you anyway - even if you hadn't fallen for it - and now I don't
have an excuse to break his face. I would have really enjoyed that, too."
"Fallen for it?" I mumbled almost incomprehensibly.
"Bella, did you really believe he was that noble? That he would go out in a flame of glory just
to clear the way for me?"
I raised my head slowly to meet his patient gaze. His expression was soft; his eyes were full
of understanding rather than the revulsion I deserved to see.
"Yes, I did believe that," I muttered, and then looked away. But I didn't feel any anger at
Jacob for tricking me. There wasn't enough room in my body to contain anything besides the
hatred I felt toward myself.
Edward laughed softly again. "You're such a bad liar, you'll believe anyone who has the least
bit of skill."
"Why aren't you angry with me?" I whispered. "Why don't you hate me? Or haven't you
heard the whole story yet?"
"I think I got a fairly comprehensive look," he said in a light, easy voice. "Jacob makes vivid
mental pictures. I feel almost as bad for his pack as I do for myself. Poor Seth was getting
nauseated. But Sam is making Jacob focus now."
I closed my eyes and shook my head in agony. The sharp nylon fibers of the tent floor scraped
against my skin.
"You're only human," he whispered, stroking my hair again.
"That's the most miserable defense I've ever heard."
"But you are human, Bella. And, as much as I might wish otherwise, so is he. . . . There are
holes in your life that I can't fill. I understand that."
"But that's nottrue. That's what makes me so horrible. There are no holes."
"You love him," he murmured gently.
Every cell in my body ached to deny it.
"I love you more," I said. It was the best I could do.
"Yes, I know that, too. But . . . when I left you, Bella, I left you bleeding. Jacob was the one
to stitch you back up again. That was bound to leave its mark - on both of you. I'm not sure
those kinds of stitches dissolve on their own. I can't blame either of you for something I
made necessary. I may gain forgiveness, but that doesn't let me escape the consequences."
"I should have known you'd find some way to blame yourself. Please stop. I can't stand it."
"What would you like me to say?"
"I want you to call me every bad name you can think of, in every language you know. I want
you to tell me that you're disgusted with me and that you're going to leave so that I can beg
and grovel on my knees for you to stay."
"I'm sorry." He sighed. "I can't do that."
"At least stop trying to make me feel better. Let me suffer. I deserve it."
"No," he murmured.
I nodded slowly. "You're right. Keep on being too understanding. That's probably worse."
He was silent for a moment, and I sensed a charge in the atmosphere, a new urgency.
"It's getting close," I stated.
"Yes, a few more minutes now. Just enough time to say one more thing. . . ."
I waited. When he finally spoke again, he was whispering. "Ican be noble, Bella. I'm not
going to make you choose between us. Just be happy, and you can have whatever part of me
you want, or none at all, if that's better. Don't let any debt you feel you owe me influence
your decision."
I pushed off the floor, shoving myself up onto my knees.
"Dammit, stop that!" I shouted at him.
His eyes widened in surprise. "No - you don't understand. I'm not just trying to make you feel
better, Bella, I really mean it."
"Iknow you do," I groaned. "What happened to fighting back? Don't start with the noble
self-sacrifice now! Fight!"
"How?" he asked, and his eyes were ancient with their sadness.
I scrambled into his lap, throwing my arms around him.
"I don't care that it's cold here. I don't care that I stink like a dog right now. Make me forget
how awful I am. Make me forget him. Make me forget my own name. Fight back!"
I didn't wait for him to decide - or to have the chance to tell me he wasn't interested in a
cruel, faithless monster like me. I pulled myself against him and crushed my mouth to his
snow-cold lips.
"Careful, love," he murmured under my urgent kiss.
"No," I growled.
He gently pushed my face a few inches back. "You don't have to prove anything to me."
"I'm not trying to prove something. You said I could have any part of you I wanted. I want
this part. I wantevery part." I wrapped my arms around his neck and strained to reach his lips.
He bent his head to kiss me back, but his cool mouth was hesitant as my impatience grew
more pronounced. My body was making my intentions clear, giving me away. Inevitably, his
hands moved to restrain me.
"Perhaps this isn't the best moment for that," he suggested, too calm for my liking.
"Why not?" I grumbled. There was no point in fighting if he was going to be rational; I
dropped my arms.
"Firstly, because itis cold." He reached out to pull the sleeping bag off the floor; he wrapped
it around me like a blanket.
"Wrong," I said. "First, because you are bizarrely moral for a vampire."
He chuckled. "All right, I'll give you that. The cold is second. And thirdly . . . well, you do
actually stink, love."
He wrinkled his nose.
I sighed.
"Fourthly," he murmured, dropping his face so that he was whispering in my ear. "Wewill try,
Bella. I'll make good on my promise. But I'd much rather it wasn't in reaction to Jacob
Black."
I cringed, and buried my face against his shoulder.
"And fifthly . . ."
"This is a very long list," I muttered.
He laughed. "Yes, but did you want to listen to the fight or not?"
As he spoke, Seth howled stridently outside the tent.
My body stiffened to the sound. I didn't realize my left hand was clenched into a fist, nails
biting into my bandaged palm, until Edward took it and gently smoothed my fingers out.
"It's going to be fine, Bella," he promised. "We've got skill, training, and surprise on our side.
It will be over very soon. If I didn't truly believe that, I would be down there now - and you'd
be here, chained to a tree or something along those lines."
"Alice is so small," I moaned.
He chuckled. "That might be a problem . . . if it were possible for someone to catch her."
Seth started to whimper.
"What's wrong?" I demanded.
"He's just angry that he's stuck here with us. He knows the pack kept him out of the action
to protect him. He's salivating to join them."
I scowled in Seth's general direction.
"The newborns have reached the end of the trail - it worked like a charm, Jasper's a genius -
and they've caught the scent of the ones in the meadow, so they're splitting into two groups
now, as Alice said," Edward murmured, his eyes focused on something far away. "Sam's
taking us around to head off the ambush party." He was so intent on what he was hearing
that he used the pack plural.
Suddenly he looked down at me. "Breathe, Bella."
I struggled to do what he asked. I could hear Seth's heavy panting just outside the tent wall,
and I tried to keep my lungs on the same even pace, so that I wouldn't hyperventilate.
"The first group is in the clearing. We can hear the fighting."
My teeth locked together.
He laughed once. "We can hear Emmett - he's enjoying himself."
I made myself take another breath with Seth.
"The second group is getting ready - they aren't paying attention, they haven't heard us yet."
Edward growled.
"What?" I gasped.
"They're talking about you." His teeth clenched together. "They're supposed to make sure
you don't escape. . . . Nice move, Leah! Mmm, she's quite fast," he murmured in approval.
"One of the newborns caught our scent, and Leah took him down before he could even turn.
Sam's helping her finish him off. Paul and Jacob got another one, but the others are on the
defensive now. They have no idea what to make of us. Both sides are feinting. . . . No, let
Sam lead. Stay out of the way," he muttered. "Separate them - don't let them protect each
other's backs."
Seth whined.
"That's better, drive them toward the clearing," Edward approved. His body was shifting
unconsciously as he watched, tensing for moves he would have made. His hands still held
mine; I twisted my fingers through his. At least he wasn't down there.
The sudden absence of sound was the only warning.
The deep rush of Seth's breathing cut off, and - as I'd paced my breaths with his - I noticed.
I stopped breathing, too - too frightened to even make my lungs work as I realized that
Edward had frozen into a block of ice beside me.
Oh, no. No. No.
Who had been lost? Theirs or ours? Mine, all mine. What wasmy loss?
So quickly that I wasn't exactly sure how it happened, I was on my feet and the tent was
collapsing in ragged shreds around me. Had Edward ripped our way out? Why?
I blinked, shocked, into the brilliant light. Seth was all I could see, right beside us, his face
only six inches from Edward's. They stared at each other with absolute concentration for one
infinite second. The sun shattered off Edward's skin and sent sparkles dancing across Seth's
fur.
And then Edward whispered urgently, "Go, Seth!"
The huge wolf wheeled and disappeared into the forest shadows.
Had two entire seconds passed? It felt like hours. I was terrified to the point of nausea by the
knowledge that something horrible had gone awry in the clearing. I opened my mouth to
demand that Edward take me there, and do it now. They needed him, and they neededme. If
I had to bleed to save them, I would do it. I would die to do it, like the third wife. I had no
silver dagger in my hand, but I would find a way -
Before I could get the first syllable out, I felt as if I was being flung through the air. But
Edward's hands never let go of me - I was only being moved, so quickly that the sensation
was like falling sideways.
I found myself with my back pressed against the sheer cliff face. Edward stood in front of
me, holding a posture that I knew at once.
Relief washed through my mind at the same time that my stomach dropped through the soles
of my feet.
I'd misunderstood.
Relief - nothing had gone wrong in the clearing.
Horror - the crisis washere.
Edward held a defensive position - half-crouched, his arms extended slightly - that I
recognized with sickening certainty. The rock at my back could have been the ancient brick
walls of the Italian alley where he had stood between me and the black-cloaked Volturi
warriors.
Something was coming for us.
"Who?" I whispered.
The words came through his teeth in a snarl that was louder than I expected. Too loud. It
meant that it was far too late to hide. We were trapped, and it didn't matter who heard his
answer.
"Victoria," he said, spitting the word, making it a curse. "She's not alone. She crossed my
scent, following the newborns in to watch - she never meant to fight with them. She made a
spur-of-the-moment decision to find me, guessing that you would be wherever I was. She
was right. You were right. It was always Victoria."
She was close enough that he could hear her thoughts.
Relief again. If it had been the Volturi, we were both dead. But with Victoria, it didn't have
to beboth. Edward could survive this. He was a good fighter, as good as Jasper. If she didn't
bring too many others, he could fight his way out, back to his family. Edward was faster than
anyone. He could make it.
I was so glad he'd sent Seth away. Of course, there was no one Seth could run to for help.
Victoria had timed her decision perfectly. But at least Seth was safe; I couldn't see the huge
sandy wolf in my head when I thought his name - just the gangly fifteen-year-old boy.
Edward's body shifted - only infinitesimally, but it told me where to look. I stared at the
black shadows of the forest.
It was like having my nightmares walk forward to greet me.
Two vampires edged slowly into the small opening of our camp, eyes intent, missing nothing.
They glistened like diamonds in the sun.
I could barely look at the blond boy - yes, he was just a boy, though he was muscular and tall,
maybe my age when he was changed. His eyes - a more vivid red than I had ever seen before
- could not hold mine. Though he was closest to Edward, the nearest danger, I could not
watch him.
Because, a few feet to the side and a few feet back, Victoria was staring at me.
Her orange hair was brighter than I'd remembered, more like a flame. There was no wind
here, but the fire around her face seemed to shimmer slightly, as if it were alive.
Her eyes were black with thirst. She did not smile, as she always had in my nightmares - her
lips were pressed into a tight line. There was a striking feline quality to the way she held her
coiled body, a lioness waiting for an opening to spring. Her restless, wild gaze flickered
between Edward and me, but never rested on him for more than a half-second. She could not
keep her eyes from my face any more than I could keep mine from hers.
Tension rolled off of her, nearly visible in the air. I could feel the desire, the all-consuming
passion that held her in its grip. Almost as if I could hear her thoughts, too, I knew what she
was thinking.
She was so close to what she wanted - the focus of her whole existence for more than a year
now was justso close.
My death.
Her plan was as obvious as it was practical. The big blond boy would attack Edward. As
soon as Edward was sufficiently distracted, Victoria would finish me.
It would be quick - she had no time for games here - but it would be thorough. Something
that it would be impossible to recover from. Something that even vampire venom could not
repair.
She'd have to stop my heart. Perhaps a hand shoved through my chest, crushing it.
Something along those lines.
My heart beat furiously, loudly, as if to make her target more obvious.
An immense distance away, from far across the black forest, a wolf's howl echoed in the still
air. With Seth gone, there was no way to interpret the sound.
The blond boy looked at Victoria from the corner of his eye, waiting on her command.
He was young in more ways than one. I guessed from his brilliant crimson irises that he
couldn't have been a vampire for very long. He would be strong, but inept. Edward would
know how to fight him. Edward would survive.
Victoria jerked her chin toward Edward, wordlessly ordering the boy forward.
"Riley," Edward said in a soft, pleading voice.
The blond boy froze, his red eyes widening.
"She's lying to you, Riley," Edward told him. "Listen to me. She's lying to you just like she
lied to the others who are dying now in the clearing. You know that she's lied to them, that
she hadyou lie to them, that neither of you were ever going to help them. Is it so hard to
believe that she's lied to you, too?"
Confusion swept across Riley's face.
Edward shifted a few inches to the side, and Riley automatically compensated with an
adjustment of his own.
"She doesn't love you, Riley." Edward's soft voice was compelling, almost hypnotic. "She
never has. She loved someone named James, and you're no more than a tool to her."
When he said James's name, Victoria's lips pulled back in a teeth-baring grimace. Her eyes
stayed locked on me.
Riley cast a frantic glance in her direction.
"Riley?" Edward said.
Riley automatically refocused on Edward.
"She knows that I will kill you, Riley. Shewants you to die so that she doesn't have to keep
up the pretense anymore. Yes - you've seen that, haven't you? You've read the reluctance in
her eyes, suspected a false note in her promises. You were right. She's never wanted you.
Every kiss, every touch was a lie."
Edward moved again, moved a few inches toward the boy, a few inches away from me.
Victoria's gaze zeroed in on the gap between us. It would take her less than a second to kill
me - she only needed the tiniest margin of opportunity.
Slower this time, Riley repositioned himself.
"You don't have to die," Edward promised, his eyes holding the boy's. "There are other ways
to live than the way she's shown you. It's not all lies and blood, Riley. You can walk away
right now. You don't have to die for her lies."
Edward slid his feet forward and to the side. There was a foot of space between us now.
Riley circled too far, overcompensating this time. Victoria leaned forward onto the balls of
her feet.
"Last chance, Riley," Edward whispered.
Riley's face was desperate as he looked to Victoria for answers.
"He's the liar, Riley," Victoria said, and my mouth fell open in shock at the sound of her
voice. "I told you about their mind tricks. You know I love only you."
Her voice was not the strong, wild, catlike growl I would have put with her face and stance.
It was soft, it was high - a babyish, soprano tinkling. The kind of voice that went with blond
curls and pink bubble gum. It made no sense coming through her bared, glistening teeth.
Riley's jaw tightened, and he squared his shoulders. His eyes emptied - there was no more
confusion, no more suspicion. There was no thought at all. He tensed himself to attack.
Victoria's body seemed to be trembling, she was so tightly wound. Her fingers were ready
claws, waiting for Edward to move just one more inch away from me.
The snarl came from none of them.
A mammoth tan shape flew through the center of the opening, throwing Riley to the ground.
"No!" Victoria cried, her baby voice shrill with disbelief.
A yard and a half in front of me, the huge wolf ripped and tore at the blond vampire beneath
him. Something white and hard smacked into the rocks by my feet. I cringed away from it.
Victoria did not spare one glance for the boy she'd just pledged her love to. Her eyes were
still on me, filled with a disappointment so ferocious that she looked deranged.
"No," she said again, through her teeth, as Edward started to move toward her, blocking her
path to me.
Riley was on his feet again, looking misshapen and haggard, but he was able to fling a
vicious kick into Seth's shoulder. I heard the bone crunch. Seth backed off and started to
circle, limping. Riley had his arms out, ready, though he seemed to be missing part of one
hand. . . .
Only a few yards away from that fight, Edward and Victoria were dancing.
Not quite circling, because Edward was not allowing her to position herself closer to me. She
sashayed back, moving from side to side, trying to find a hole in his defense. He shadowed
her footwork lithely, stalking her with perfect concentration. He began to move just a
fraction of a secondbefore she moved, reading her intentions in her thoughts.
Seth lunged at Riley from the side, and something tore with a hideous, grating screech.
Another heavy white chunk flew into the forest with a thud. Riley roared in fury, and Seth
skipped back - amazingly light on his feet for his size - as Riley took a swipe at him with one
mangled hand.
Victoria was weaving through the tree trunks at the far end of the little opening now. She
was torn, her feet pulling her toward safety while her eyes yearned toward me as if I were a
magnet, reeling her in. I could see the burning desire to kill warring with her survival instinct.
Edward could see that, too.
"Don't go, Victoria," he murmured in that same hypnotic tone as before. "You'll never get
another chance like this."
She showed her teeth and hissed at him, but she seemed unable to move farther away from
me.
"You can always run later," Edward purred. "Plenty of time for that. It's what you do, isn't it?
It's why James kept you around. Useful, if you like to play deadly games. A partner with an
uncanny instinct for escaping. He shouldn't have left you - he could have used your skills
when we caught up to him in Phoenix."
A snarl ripped from between her lips.
"That's all you ever were to him, though. Silly to waste so much energy avenging someone
who had less affection for you than a hunter for his mount. You were never more than a
convenience to him. I would know."
Edward's lips pulled up on one side as he tapped his temple.
With a strangled screech, Victoria darted out of the trees again, feinting to the side. Edward
responded, and the dance began again.
Just then, Riley's fist caught Seth's flank, and a low yelp coughed out of Seth's throat. Seth
backed away, his shoulders twitching as if he were trying to shake off the pain.
Please,I wanted to plead with Riley, but I couldn't find the muscles to make my mouth open,
to pull the air up from my lungs.Please, he's just a child!
Why hadn't Seth run away? Why didn't he run now?
Riley was closing the distance between them again, driving Seth toward the cliff face beside
me. Victoria was suddenly interested in her partner's fate. I could see her, from the corner of
her eyes, judge the distance between Riley and me. Seth snapped at Riley, forcing him back
again, and Victoria hissed.
Seth wasn't limping anymore. His circling took him within inches of Edward; his tail brushed
Edward's back, and Victoria's eyes bulged.
"No, he won't turn on me," Edward said, answering the question in Victoria's head. He used
her distraction to slide closer. "You provided us with a common enemy. You allied us."
She clenched her teeth, trying to keep her focus on Edward alone.
"Look more closely, Victoria," he murmured, pulling at the threads of her concentration. "Is
he really so much like the monster James tracked across Siberia?"
Her eyes popped wide open, and then began flickering wildly from Edward to Seth to me,
around and around. "Not the same?" she snarled in her little girl's soprano. "Impossible!"
"Nothing is impossible," Edward murmured, voice velvet soft as he moved another inch
closer to her. "Except what you want. You'll never touch her."
She shook her head, fast and jerky, fighting his diversions, and tried to duck around him, but
he was in place to block her as soon as she'd thought of the plan. Her face contorted in
frustration, and then she shifted lower into her crouch, a lioness again, and stalked
deliberately forward.
Victoria was no inexperienced, instinct-driven newborn. She was lethal. Even I could tell the
difference between her and Riley, and I knew that Seth wouldn't have lasted so long if he'd
been fightingthis vampire.
Edward shifted, too, as they closed on each other, and it was lion versus lioness.
The dance increased in tempo.
It was like Alice and Jasper in the meadow, a blurred spiraling of movement, only this dance
was not as perfectly choreographed. Sharp crunches and crackings reverberated off the cliff
face whenever someone slipped in their formation. But they were moving too fast for me to
see who was making the mistakes. . . .
Riley was distracted by the violent ballet, his eyes anxious for his partner. Seth struck,
crunching off another small piece of the vampire. Riley bellowed and launched a massive
backhanded blow that caught Seth full in his broad chest. Seth's huge body soared ten feet
and crashed into the rocky wall over my head with a force that seemed to shake the whole
peak. I heard the breath whoosh from his lungs, and I ducked out of the way as he rebounded
off the stone and collapsed on the ground a few feet in front of me.
A low whimper escaped through Seth's teeth.
Sharp fragments of gray stone showered down on my head, scratching my exposed skin. A
jagged spike of rock rolled down my right arm and I caught it reflexively. My fingers
clenched around the long shard as my own survival instincts kicked in; since there was no
chance of flight, my body - not caring how ineffectual the gesture was - prepared for a fight.
Adrenaline jolted through my veins. I knew the brace was cutting into my palm. I knew the
crack in my knuckle was protesting. I knew it, but I could not feel the pain.
Behind Riley, all I could see was the twisting flame of Victoria's hair and a blur of white.
The increasingly frequent metallic snaps and tears, the gasps and shocked hissings, made it
clear that the dance was turning deadly for someone.
Butwhich someone?
Riley lurched toward me, his red eyes brilliant with fury. He glared at the limp mountain of
sand-colored fur between us, and his hands - mangled, broken hands - curled into talons. His
mouth opened, widened, his teeth glistening, as he prepared to rip out Seth's throat.
A second kick of adrenaline hit like an electric shock, and everything was suddenly very
clear.
Both fights were too close. Seth was about to lose his, and I had no idea if Edward was
winning or losing. They needed help. A distraction. Something to give them an edge.
My hand gripped the stone spike so tightly that a support in the brace snapped.
Was I strong enough? Was I brave enough? How hard could I shove the rough stone into my
body? Would this buy Seth enough time to get back on his feet? Would he heal fast enough
for my sacrifice to do him any good?
I raked the point of the shard up my arm, yanking my thick sweater back to expose the skin,
and then pressed the sharp tip to the crease at my elbow. I already had a long scar there from
my last birthday. That night, my flowing blood had been enough to catch every vampire's
attention, to freeze them all in place for an instant. I prayed it would work that way again. I
steeled myself and sucked in one deep breath.
Victoria was distracted by the sound of my gasp. Her eyes, holding still for one tiny portion
of a second, met mine. Fury and curiosity mingled strangely in her expression.
I wasn't sure how I heard the low sound with all the other noises echoing off the stone wall
and hammering inside my head. My own heartbeat should have been enough to drown it out.
But, in the split second that I stared into Victoria's eyes, I thought I heard a familiar,
exasperated sigh.
In that same short second, the dance broke violently apart. It happened so quickly that it was
over before I could follow the sequence of events. I tried to catch up in my head.
Victoria had flown out of the blurred formation and smashed into a tall spruce about halfway
up the tree. She dropped back to the earth already crouched to spring.
Simultaneously, Edward - all but invisible with speed - had twisted backward and caught the
unsuspecting Riley by the arm. It had looked like Edward planted his foot against Riley's
back, and heaved -
The little campsite was filled with Riley's piercing shriek of agony.
At the same time, Seth leaped to his feet, cutting off most of my view.
But I could still see Victoria. And, though she looked oddly deformed - as if she were unable
to straighten up completely - I could see the smile I'd been dreaming of flash across her wild
face.
She coiled and sprang.
Something small and white whistled through the air and collided with her mid-flight. The
impact sounded like an explosion, and it threw her against another tree - this one snapped in
half. She landed on her feet again, crouched and ready, but Edward was already in place.
Relief swelled in my heart when I saw that he stood straight and perfect.
Victoria kicked something aside with a flick of her bare foot - the missile that had crippled
her attack. It rolled toward me, and I realized what it was.
My stomach lurched.
The fingers were still twitching; grasping at blades of grass, Riley's arm began to drag itself
mindlessly across the ground.
Seth was circling Riley again, and now Riley was retreating. He backed away from the
advancing werewolf, his face rigid with pain. He raised his one arm defensively.
Seth rushed Riley, and the vampire was clearly off-balance. I saw Seth sink his teeth into
Riley's shoulder and tear, jumping back again.
With an earsplitting metallic screech, Riley lost his other arm.
Seth shook his head, flinging the arm into the woods. The broken hissing noise that came
through Seth's teeth sounded like snickering.
Riley screamed out a tortured plea. "Victoria!"
Victoria did not even flinch to the sound of her name. Her eyes did not flicker once toward
her partner.
Seth launched himself forward with the force of a wrecking ball. The thrust carried both Seth
and Riley into the trees, where the metallic screeching was matched by Riley's screams.
Screams that abruptly cut off, while the sounds of rock being ripped to shreds continued.
Though she spared Riley no farewell glance, Victoria seemed to realize that she was on her
own. She began to back away from Edward, frenzied disappointment blazing in her eyes. She
threw me one short, agonized stare of longing, and then she started to retreat faster.
"No," Edward crooned, his voice seductive. "Stay just a little longer."
She wheeled and flew toward the refuge of the forest like an arrow from a bow.
But Edward was faster - a bullet from a gun.
He caught her unprotected back at the edge of the trees and, with one last, simple step, the
dance was over.
Edward's mouth brushed once across her neck, like a caress. The squealing clamor coming
from Seth's efforts covered every other noise, so there was no discernible sound to make the
image one of violence. He could have been kissing her.
And then the fiery tangle of hair was no longer connected to the rest of her body. The
shivering orange waves fell to the ground, and bounced once before rolling toward the trees.


CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 |  CHAPTER 3 |  CHAPTER 4 |  CHAPTER 5 |  CHAPTER 6 |  CHAPTER 7 |  CHAPTER 8 |  CHAPTER 9 |  CHAPTER 10 |  CHAPTER 11 |  CHAPTER 12 |  CHAPTER 13 |  CHAPTER 14 |  CHAPTER 15 |  CHAPTER 16 |  CHAPTER 17 |  CHAPTER 18 |  CHAPTER 19 |  CHAPTER 20 |  CHAPTER 21 |  CHAPTER 22 |  CHAPTER 23 |  CHAPTER 24 | CHAPTER 25 | CHAPTER 26 | CHAPTER 27 | BOOK 1: TWILIGHT | BOOK 2: NEW MOON | BOOK 4: BREAKING DAWN | MIDNIGHT SUN | BREE TANNER

Eclipse - Chapter 23

Monster

WHEN I WOKE UP IN THE MORNING, IT WAS VERYbright - even inside the tent, the
sunlight hurt my eyes. And Iwas sweating, as Jacob had predicted. Jacob was snoring lightly
in my ear, his arms still wrapped around me.

I pulled my head away from his feverishly warm chest and felt the sting of the cold morning
on my clammy cheek. Jacob sighed in his sleep; his arms tightened unconsciously.
I squirmed, unable to loosen his hold, struggling to lift my head enough to see. . . .
Edward met my gaze evenly. His expression was calm, but the pain in his eyes was
unconcealed.

"Is it any warmer out there?" I whispered.

"Yes. I don't think the space heater will be necessary today."

I tried to get to the zipper, but I couldn't free my arms. I strained, fighting against Jacob's
inert strength. Jacob muttered, still fast asleep, his arms constricting again.
"Some help?" I asked quietly.

Edward smiled. "Did you want me to take his arms all the way off?"

"No, thank you. Just get me free. I'm going to get heat stroke."

Edward unzipped the sleeping bag in a swift, abrupt movement. Jacob fell out, his bare back
hitting the icy floor of the tent.

"Hey!" he complained, his eyes flying open. Instinctively, he flinched away from the cold,
rolling onto me. I gasped as his weight knocked the breath out of me.

And then his weight was gone. I felt the impact as Jacob flew into one of the tent poles and
the tent shuddered.

The growling erupted from all around. Edward was crouching in front of me, and I couldn't
see his face, but the snarls were ripping angrily out of his chest. Jacob was half-crouched,
too, his whole body quivering, while growls rumbled through his clenched teeth. Outside the
tent, Seth Clearwater's vicious snarls echoed off the rocks.

"Stop it, stop it!" I yelled, scrambling awkwardly to put myself between them. The space was
so small that I didn't have to stretch far to put one hand on each of their chests. Edward
wrapped his hand around my waist, ready to yank me out of the way.

"Stop it, now," I warned him.

Under my touch, Jacob began to calm himself. The shaking slowed, but his teeth were still
bared, his eyes furiously focused on Edward. Seth continued to growl, a long unbroken
sound, a violent background to the sudden silence in the tent.

"Jacob?" I asked, waiting until he finally dropped his glare to look at me. "Are you hurt?"
"Of course not!" he hissed.

I turned to Edward. He was looking at me, his expression hard and angry. "That wasn't nice.
You should say sorry."

His eyes widened in disgust. "You must be joking - he was crushing you!"

"Because you dumped him on the floor! He didn't do it on purpose, and he didn't hurt me."

Edward groaned, revolted. Slowly, he looked up to glare at Jacob with hostile eyes. "My
apologies, dog."

"No harm done," Jacob said, a taunting edge to his voice.

It was still cold, though not as cold as it had been. I curled my arms around my chest.
"Here," Edward said, calm again. He took the parka off the floor and wrapped it over the top
of my coat.
"That's Jacob's," I objected.
"Jacob has a fur coat," Edward hinted.
"I'll just use the sleeping bag again, if you don't mind." Jacob ignored him, climbing around
us and sliding into the down bag. "I wasn't quite ready to wake up. That wasn't the best
night's sleep I ever had."
"It was your idea," Edward said impassively.
Jacob was curled up, his eyes already closed. He yawned. "I didn't say it wasn't the best night
I've ever spent. Just that I didn't get a lot of sleep. I thought Bella was never going to shut
up."
I winced, wondering what might have come out of my mouth in my sleep. The possibilities
were horrifying.
"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," Edward murmured.
Jacob's dark eyes fluttered open. "Didn't you have a nice night, then?" he asked, smug.
"It wasn't the worst night of my life."
"Did it make the top ten?" Jacob asked with perverse enjoyment.
"Possibly."
Jacob smiled and closed his eyes.
"But," Edward went on, "if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have
made the top ten of thebest nights of my life. Dream about that."
Jacob's eyes opened into a glare. He sat up stiffly, his shoulders tense.
"You know what? I think it's too crowded in here."
"I couldn't agree more."
I elbowed Edward in the ribs - probably giving myself a bruise.
"Guess I'll catch up on my sleep later, then." Jacob made a face. "I need to talk to Sam
anyway."
He rolled to his knees and grabbed the door's zipper.
Pain crackled down my spine and lodged in my stomach as I abruptly realized that this could
be the last time I would see him. He was going back to Sam, back to fight the horde of
bloodthirsty newborn vampires.
"Jake, wait -" I reached after him, my hand sliding down his arm.
He jerked his arm away before my fingers could find purchase.
"Please, Jake? Won't you stay?"
"No."
The word was hard and cold. I knew my face gave away my pain, because he exhaled and
half a smile softened his expression.
"Don't worry about me, Bells. I'll be fine, just like I always am." He forced a laugh. "'Sides,
you think I'm going to let Seth go in my place - have all the fun and steal all the glory?
Right." He snorted.
"Be careful -"
He shoved out of the tent before I could finish.
"Give it a rest, Bella," I heard him mutter as he re-zipped the door.
I listened for the sound of his retreating footsteps, but it was perfectly still. No more wind. I
could hear morning birdsong far away on the mountain, and nothing else. Jacob moved in
silence now.
I huddled in my coats, and leaned against Edward's shoulder. We were quiet for a long time.
"How much longer?" I asked.
"Alice told Sam it should be an hour or so," Edward said, soft and bleak.
"We stay together. No matter what."
"No matter what," he agreed, his eyes tight.
"I know," I said. "I'm terrified for them, too."
"They know how to handle themselves," Edward assured me, purposely making his voice
light. "I just hate missing the fun."
Again with thefun. My nostrils flared.
He put his arm around my shoulder. "Don't worry," he urged, and then he kissed my
forehead.
As if there was any way to avoid that. "Sure, sure."
"Do you want me to distract you?" He breathed, running his cold fingers along my
cheekbone.
I shivered involuntarily; the morning was still frosty.
"Maybe not right now," he answered himself, pulling his hand away.
"There are other ways to distract me."
"What would you like?"
"You could tell me about your ten best nights," I suggested. "I'm curious."
He laughed. "Try to guess."
I shook my head. "There're too many nights I don't know about. A century of them."
"I'll narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened since I met you."
"Really?"
"Yes, really - and by quite a wide margin, too."
I thought for a minute. "I can only think of mine," I admitted.
"They might be the same," he encouraged.
"Well, there was the first night. The night you stayed."
"Yes, that's one of mine, too. Of course, you were unconscious for my favorite part."
"That's right," I remembered. "I was talking that night, too."
"Yes," he agreed.
My face got hot as I wondered again what I might have said while sleeping in Jacob's arms. I
couldn't remember what I'd dreamed about, or if I'd dreamed at all, so that was no help.
"What did I say last night?" I whispered more quietly than before.
He shrugged instead of answering, and I winced.
"That bad?"
"Nothing too horrible," he sighed.
"Please tell me."
"Mostly you said my name, the same as usual."
"That's not bad," I agreed cautiously.
"Near the end, though, you started mumbling some nonsense about 'Jacob, my Jacob.'" I
could hear the pain, even in the whisper. "Your Jacob enjoyedthat quite a lot."
I stretched my neck up, straining to reach my lips to the edge of his jaw. I couldn't see into
his eyes. He was staring up at the ceiling of the tent.
"Sorry," I murmured. "That's just the way I differentiate."
"Differentiate?"
"Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the one who annoys the
hell out of me," I explained.
"That makes sense." He sounded slightly mollified. "Tell me another favorite night."
"Flying home from Italy."
He frowned.
"Is that not one of yours?" I wondered.
"No, itis one of mine, actually, but I'm surprised it's on your list. Weren't you under the
ludicrous impression I was just acting from a guilty conscience, and I was going to bolt as
soon as the plane doors opened?"
"Yes." I smiled. "But, still, you were there."
He kissed my hair. "You love me more than I deserve."
I laughed at the impossibility of that idea. "Next would be the night after Italy," I continued.
"Yes, that's on the list. You were so funny."
"Funny?" I objected.
"I had no idea your dreams were so vivid. It took me forever to convince you that you were
awake."
"I'm still not sure," I muttered. "You've always seemed more like a dream than reality. Tell
me one of yours, now. Did I guess your first place?"
"No - that would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me."
I made a face.
"That doesn't make your list?"
I thought about the way he'd kissed me, the concession I'd gained, and changed my mind.
"Yes . . . it does. But with reservations. I don't understand why it's so important to you. You
already had me forever."
"A hundred years from now, when you've gained enough perspective to really appreciate the
answer, I will explain it to you."
"I'll remind you to explain - in a hundred years."
"Are you warm enough?" he asked suddenly.
"I'm fine," I assured him. "Why?"
Before he could answer, the silence outside the tent was ripped apart by an earsplitting howl
of pain. The sound ricocheted off the bare rock face of the mountain and filled the air so that
it seared from every direction.
The howl tore through my mind like a tornado, both strange and familiar. Strange because I'd
never heard such a tortured cry before. Familiar because I knew the voice at once - I
recognized the sound and understood the meaning as perfectly as if I'd uttered it myself. It
made no difference that Jacob was not human when he cried out. I needed no translation.
Jacob was close. Jacob had heard every word we'd said. Jacob was in agony.
The howl choked off into a peculiar gurgled sob, and then it was quiet again.
I did not hear his silent escape, but I could feel it - I could feel the absence I had wrongly
assumed before, the empty space he left behind.
"Because your space heater has reached his limit," Edward answered quietly. "Truce over,"
he added, so low I couldn't be sure that was really what he'd said.
"Jacob was listening," I whispered. It wasn't a question.
"Yes."
"You knew."
"Yes."
I stared at nothing, seeing nothing.
"I never promised to fight fair," he reminded me quietly. "And he deserves to know."
My head fell into my hands.
"Are you angry with me?" he asked.
"Not you," I whispered. "I'm horrified atme. "
"Don't torment yourself," he pleaded.
"Yes," I agreed bitterly. "I should save my energy to torment Jacob some more. I wouldn't
want to leave any part of him unharmed."
"He knew what he was doing."
"Do you think that matters?" I was blinking back tears, and this was easy to hear in my voice.
"Do you think I care whether it's fair or whether he was adequately warned? I'mhurting him.
Every time I turn around, I'm hurting him again." My voice was getting louder, more
hysterical. "I'm a hideous person."
He wrapped his arms tightly around me. "No, you're not."
"I am! What's wrong with me?" I struggled against his arms, and he let them drop. "I have to
go find him."
"Bella, he's already miles away, and it's cold."
"I don't care. I can't justsit here." I shrugged off Jacob's parka, shoved my feet into my boots,
and crawled stiffly to the door; my legs felt numb. "I have to - I have to . . ." I didn't know
how to finish the sentence, didn't know what there was to do, but I unzipped the door
anyway, and climbed out into the bright, icy morning.
There was less snow than I would have thought after the fury of last night's storm. Probably
it had blown away rather than melted in the sun that now shone low in the southeast,
glancing off the snow that lingered and stabbing at my unadjusted eyes. The air still had a
bite to it, but it was dead calm and slowly becoming more seasonable as the sun rose higher.
Seth Clearwater was curled up on a patch of dry pine needles in the shadow of a thick
spruce, his head on his paws. His sand-colored fur was almost invisible against the dead
needles, but I could see the bright snow reflect off his open eyes. He was staring at me with
what I imagined was an accusation.
I knew Edward was following me as I stumbled toward the trees. I couldn't hear him, but the
sun reflected off his skin in glittering rainbows that danced ahead of me. He didn't reach out
to stop me until I was several paces into the forest shadows.
His hand caught my left wrist. He ignored it when I tried to yank myself free.
"You can't go after him. Not today. It's almost time. And getting yourself lost wouldn't help
anyone, regardless."
I twisted my wrist, pulling uselessly.
"I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered. "I'm sorry I did that."
"You didn't do anything. It's my fault. I did this. I did everything wrong. I could have . . .
When he . . . I shouldn't have . . . I . . . I . . ." I was sobbing.
"Bella, Bella."
His arms folded around me, and my tears soaked into his shirt.
"I should have - told him - I should - have said -" What? What could have made this right?
"He shouldn't have - found out like this."
"Do you want me to see if I can bring him back, so that you can talk to him? There's still a
little time," Edward murmured, hushed agony in his voice.
I nodded into his chest, afraid to see his face.
"Stay by the tent. I'll be back soon."
His arms disappeared. He left so quickly that, in the second it took me to look up, he was
already gone. I was alone.
A new sob broke from my chest. I was hurting everyone today. Was there anything I touched
that didn't get spoiled?
I didn't know why it was hitting me so hard now. It wasn't like I hadn't known this was
coming all along. But Jacob had never reacted so strongly - lost his bold overconfidence and
shown the intensity of his pain. The sound of his agony still cut at me, somewhere deep in
my chest. Right beside it was the other pain. Pain for feeling pain over Jacob. Pain for
hurting Edward, too. For not being able to watch Jacob go with composure, knowing that it
was the right thing, the only way.
I was selfish, I was hurtful. I tortured the ones I loved.
I was like Cathy, likeWuthering Heights, only my options were so much better than hers,
neither one evil, neither one weak. And here I sat, crying about it, not doing anything
productive to make it right. Just like Cathy.
I couldn't allow what hurtme to influence my decisions anymore. It was too little, much too
late, but I had to do what was right now. Maybe it was already done for me. Maybe Edward
would not be able to bring him back. And then I would accept that and get on with my life.
Edward would never see me shed another tear for Jacob Black. There would be no more
tears. I wiped the last of them away with cold fingers now.
But if Edward did return with Jacob, that was it. I had to tell him to go away and never come
back.
Why was that so hard? So very much more difficult than saying goodbye to my other friends,
to Angela, to Mike? Why did thathurt ? It wasn't right. That shouldn't be able to hurt me. I
had what I wanted. I couldn't have them both, because Jacob could not be just my friend. It
was time to give up wishing for that. How ridiculously greedy could any one person be?
I had to get over this irrational feeling that Jacob belonged in my life. He couldn't belong
with me, could not bemy Jacob, when I belonged to someone else.
I walked slowly back to the little clearing, my feet dragging. When I broke into the open
space, blinking against the sharp light, I threw one quick glance toward Seth - he hadn't
moved from his bed of pine needles - and then looked away, avoiding his eyes.
I could feel that my hair was wild, twisted into clumps like Medusa's snakes. I yanked
through it with my fingers, and then gave up quickly. Who cared what I looked like, anyway?
I grabbed the canteen hanging beside the tent door and shook it. It sloshed wetly, so I
unscrewed the lid and took a swig to rinse my mouth with the ice water. There was food
somewhere nearby, but I didn't feel hungry enough to look for it. I started pacing across the
bright little space, feeling Seth's eyes on me the whole time. Because I wouldn't look at him,
in my head he became the boy again, rather than the gigantic wolf. So much like a younger
Jacob.
I wanted to ask Seth to bark or give some other sign if Jacob was coming back, but I stopped
myself. It didn't matter if Jacob came back. It might be easier if he didn't. I wished I had
some way to call Edward.
Seth whined at that moment, and got to his feet.
"What is it?" I asked him stupidly.
He ignored me, trotting to the edge of the trees, and pointing his nose toward the west. He
began whimpering.
"Is it the others, Seth?" I demanded. "In the clearing?"
He looked at me and yelped softly once, and then turned his nose alertly back to the west.
His ears laid back and he whined again.
Why was I such a fool? What was I thinking, sending Edward away? How was I supposed to
know what was going on? I didn't speak wolf.
A cold trickle of fear began to ooze down my spine. What if the time had run out? What if
Jacob and Edward got too close? What if Edward decided to join in the fight?
The icy fear pooled in my stomach. What if Seth's distress had nothing to do with the
clearing, and his yelp had been a denial? What if Jacob and Edward were fighting with each
other, far away somewhere in the forest? They wouldn't do that, would they?
With sudden, chilling certainty I realized that they would - if the wrong words were said. I
thought of the tense standoff in the tent this morning, and I wondered if I'd underestimated
how close it had come to a fight.
It would be no more than I deserved if I somehow lost them both.
The ice locked around my heart.
Before I could collapse with fear, Seth grumbled slightly, deep in his chest, and then turned
away from his watch and sauntered back toward his resting place. It calmed me, but irritated
me. Couldn't he scratch a message in the dirt or something?
The pacing was starting to make me sweat under all my layers. I threw my jacket into the
tent, and then I went back to wearing a path across the center of the tiny break in the trees.
Seth jumped to his feet again suddenly, the hackles on the back of his neck standing up
stiffly. I looked around, but saw nothing. If Seth didn't cut it out, I was going to throw a
pinecone at him.
He growled, a low warning sound, slinking back toward the western rim, and I rethought my
impatience.
"It's just us, Seth," Jacob called from a distance.
I tried to explain to myself why my heart kicked into fourth gear when I heard him. It was
just fear of what I was going to have to do now, that was all. I could not allow myself to be
relieved that he'd come back. That would be the opposite of helpful.
Edward walked into view first, his face blank and smooth. When he stepped out from the
shadows, the sun shimmered on his skin like it did on the snow. Seth went to greet him,
looking intently into his eyes. Edward nodded slowly, and worry creased his forehead.
"Yes, that's all we need," he muttered to himself before addressing the big wolf. "I suppose
we shouldn't be surprised. But the timing is going to be very close. Please have Sam ask
Alice to try to nail the schedule down better."
Seth dipped his head once, and I wished I was able to growl. Sure, he could nodnow. I turned
my head, annoyed, and realized that Jacob was there.
He had his back to me, facing the way he'd come. I waited warily for him to turn around.
"Bella," Edward murmured, suddenly right beside me. He stared down at me with nothing
but concern showing in his eyes. There was no end to his generosity. I deserved him now less
than I ever had.
"There's a bit of a complication," he told me, his voice carefully unworried. "I'm going to take
Seth a little ways away and try to straighten it out. I won't go far, but I won't listen, either. I
know you don't want an audience, no matter which way you decide to go."
Only at the very end did the pain break into his voice.
I had to never hurt him again. That would be my mission in life. Never again would I be the
reason for this look to come into his eyes.
I was too upset to even ask him what the new problem was. I didn't need anything else right
now.
"Hurry back," I whispered.
He kissed me lightly on the lips, and then disappeared into the forest with Seth at his side.
Jacob was still in the shadow of the trees; I couldn't see his expression clearly.
"I'm in a hurry, Bella," he said in a dull voice. "Why don't you get it over with?"
I swallowed, my throat suddenly so dry I wasn't sure if I could make sound come out.
"Just say the words, and be done with it."
I took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry I'm such a rotten person," I whispered. "I'm sorry I've been so selfish. I wish I'd
never met you, so I couldn't hurt you the way I have. I won't do it anymore, I promise. I'll
stay far away from you. I'll move out of the state. You won't have to look at me ever again."
"That's not much of an apology," he said bitterly.
I couldn't make my voice louder than a whisper. "Tell me how to do it right."
"What if I don't want you to go away? What if I'd rather you stayed, selfish or not? Don't I
get any say, if you're trying to make things up to me?"
"That won't help anything, Jake. It was wrong to stay with you when we wanted such
different things. It's not going to get better. I'll just keep hurting you. I don't want to hurt you
anymore. I hate it." My voice broke.
He sighed. "Stop. You don't have to say anything else. I understand."
I wanted to tell him how much I would miss him, but I bit my tongue. That would not help
anything, either.
He stood quietly for a moment, staring at the ground, and I fought against the urge to go and
put my arms around him. To comfort him.
And then his head snapped up.
"Well, you're not the only one capable of self-sacrifice," he said, his voice stronger. "Two can
play at that game."
"What?"
"I've behaved pretty badly myself. I've made this much harder for you than I needed to. I
could have given up with good grace in the beginning. But I hurt you, too."
"This is my fault."
"I won't let you claim all the blame here, Bella. Or all the glory either. I know how to redeem
myself."
"What are you talking about?" I demanded. The sudden, frenzied light in his eyes frightened
me.
He glanced up at the sun and then smiled at me. "There's a pretty serious fight brewing down
there. I don't think it will be that difficult to take myself out of the picture."
His words sank into my brain, slowly, one by one, and I couldn't breathe. Despite all my
intentions to cut Jacob out of my life completely, I didn't realize until that precise second
exactly how deep the knife would have to go to do it.
"Oh, no, Jake! No, no no no," I choked out in horror. "No, Jake, no. Please, no." My knees
began to tremble.
"What's the difference, Bella? This will only make it more convenient for everyone. You
won't even have to move."
"No!" My voice got louder. "No, Jacob! I won't let you!"
"How will you stop me?" he taunted lightly, smiling to take the sting out of his tone.
"Jacob, I'm begging you. Stay with me." I would have fallen to my knees, if I could have
moved at all.
"For fifteen minutes while I miss a good brawl? So that you can run away from me as soon as
you think I'm safe again? You've got to be kidding."
"I won't run away. I've changed my mind. We'll work something out, Jacob. There's always a
compromise. Don't go!"
"You're lying."
"I'm not. You know what a terrible liar I am. Look in my eyes. I'll stay if you do."
His face hardened. "And I can beyour best man at the wedding?"
It was a moment before I could speak, and still the only answer I could give him was,
"Please."
"That's what I thought," he said, his face going calm again, but for the turbulent light in his
eyes.
"I love you, Bella," he murmured.
"I love you, Jacob," I whispered brokenly.
He smiled. "I know that better than you do."
He turned to walk away.
"Anything," I called after him in a strangled voice. "Anything you want, Jacob. Just don't do
this!"
He paused, turning slowly.
"I don't really think you mean that."
"Stay," I begged.
He shook his head. "No, I'm going." He paused, as if deciding something. "But I could leave
it to fate."
"What do you mean?" I choked out.
"I don't have to do anything deliberate - I could just do my best for my pack and let what
happens happen." He shrugged. "Ifyou could convince me you really did want me to come
back - more than you wanted to do the selfless thing."
"How?" I asked.
"You could ask me," he suggested.
"Come back," I whispered. How could he doubt that I meant it?
He shook his head, smiling again. "That's not what I'm talking about."
It took me a second to grasp what he was saying, and all the while he was looking at me
with this superior expression - so sure of my reaction. As soon as the realization hit, though, I
blurted out the words without stopping to count the cost.
"Will you kiss me, Jacob?"
His eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed suspiciously. "You're bluffing."
"Kiss me, Jacob. Kiss me, and then come back."
He hesitated in the shadow, warring with himself. He half-turned again to the west, his torso
twisting away from me while his feet stayed planted where they were. Still looking away, he
took one uncertain step in my direction, and then another. He swung his face around to look
at me, his eyes doubtful.
I stared back. I had no idea what expression was on my face.
Jacob rocked back on his heels, and then lurched forward, closing the distance between us in
three long strides.
I knew he would take advantage of the situation. I expected it. I held very still - my eyes
closed, my fingers curled into fists at my sides - as his hands caught my face and his lips
found mine with an eagerness that was not far from violence.
I could feel his anger as his mouth discovered my passive resistance. One hand moved to the
nape of my neck, twisting into a fist around the roots of my hair. The other hand grabbed
roughly at my shoulder, shaking me, then dragging me to him. His hand continued down my
arm, finding my wrist and pulling my arm up around his neck. I left it there, my hand still
tightly balled up, unsure how far I could go in my desperation to keep him alive. All the
while his lips, disconcertingly soft and warm, tried to force a response out of mine.
As soon as he was sure I wouldn't drop my arm, he freed my wrist, his hand feeling its way
down to my waist. His burning hand found the skin at the small of my back, and he yanked
me forward, bowing my body against his.
His lips gave up on mine for a moment, but I knew he was nowhere close to finished. His
mouth followed the line of my jaw, and then explored the length of my neck. He freed my
hair, reaching for my other arm to draw it around his neck like the first.
Then both of his arms were constricted around my waist, and his lips found my ear.
"You can do better than this, Bella," he whispered huskily. "You're overthinking it."
I shivered as I felt his teeth graze my earlobe.
"That's right," he murmured. "For once, just let yourself feel what you feel."
I shook my head mechanically until one of his hands wound back into my hair and stopped
me.
His voice turned acidic. "Are you sure you want me to come back? Or did you really want me
to die?"
Anger rocked through me like the whiplash after a heavy punch. That was too much - he
wasn't fighting fair.
My arms were already around his neck, so I grabbed two fistfuls of his hair - ignoring the
stabbing pain in my right hand - and fought back, struggling to pull my face away from his.
And Jacob misunderstood.
He was too strong to recognize that my hands, trying to yank his hair out by the roots, meant
to cause him pain. Instead of anger, he imagined passion. He thought I was finally
responding to him.
With a wild gasp, he brought his mouth back to mine, his fingers clutching frantically against
the skin at my waist.
The jolt of anger unbalanced my tenuous hold on self-control; his unexpected, ecstatic
response overthrew it entirely. If there had been only triumph, I might have been able to
resist him. But the utter defenselessness of his sudden joy cracked my determination, disabled
it. My brain disconnected from my body, and I was kissing him back. Against all reason, my
lips were moving with his in strange, confusing ways they'd never moved before - because I
didn't have to be careful with Jacob, and he certainly wasn't being careful with me.
My fingers tightened in his hair, but I was pulling him closer now.
He was everywhere. The piercing sunlight turned my eyelids red, and the color fit, matched
the heat. The heat was everywhere. I couldn't see or hear or feel anything that wasn't Jacob.
The tiny piece of my brain that retained sanity screamed questions at me.
Why wasn't I stopping this? Worse than that, why couldn't I find in myself even the desire
towant to stop? What did it mean that I didn't wanthim to stop? That my hands clung to his
shoulders, and liked that they were wide and strong? That his hands pulled me too tight
against his body, and yet it was not tight enough for me?
The questions were stupid, because I knew the answer: I'd been lying to myself.
Jacob was right. He'd been right all along. He was more than just my friend. That's why it
was so impossible to tell him goodbye - because I was in love with him. Too. I loved him,
much more than I should, and yet, still nowhere near enough. I was in love with him, but it
was not enough to change anything; it was only enough to hurt us both more. To hurt him
worse than I ever had.
I didn't care about more than that - than his pain. I more than deserved whatever pain this
caused me. I hoped it was bad. I hoped I would really suffer.
In this moment, it felt as though we were the same person. His pain had always been and
would always be my pain - now his joy was my joy. I felt joy, too, and yet his happiness was
somehow also pain. Almost tangible - it burned against my skin like acid, a slow torture.
For one brief, never-ending second, an entirely different path expanded behind the lids of my
tear-wet eyes. As if I were looking through the filter of Jacob's thoughts, I could see exactly
what I was going to give up, exactly what this new self-knowledge would not save me from
losing. I could see Charlie and Renée mixed into a strange collage with Billy and Sam and La
Push. I could see years passing, and meaning something as they passed, changing me. I could
see the enormous red-brown wolf that I loved, always standing as protector if I needed him.
For the tiniest fragment of that second, I saw the bobbing heads of two small, black-haired
children, running away from me into the familiar forest. When they disappeared, they took
the rest of the vision with them.
And then, quite distinctly, I felt the splintering along the fissure line in my heart as the
smaller part wrenched itself away from the whole.
Jacob's lips were still before mine were. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me with
wonder and elation.
"I have to leave," he whispered.
"No."
He smiled, pleased by my response. "I won't be long," he promised. "But one thing first . . ."
He bent to kiss me again, and there was no reason to resist. What would be the point?
This time was different. His hands were soft on my face and his warm lips were gentle,
unexpectedly hesitant. It was brief, and very, very sweet.
His arms curled around me, and he hugged me securely while he whispered in my ear.
"Thatshould have been our first kiss. Better late than never."
Against his chest, where he couldn't see, the tears welled up and spilled over.



CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 |  CHAPTER 3 |  CHAPTER 4 |  CHAPTER 5 |  CHAPTER 6 |  CHAPTER 7 |  CHAPTER 8 |  CHAPTER 9 |  CHAPTER 10 |  CHAPTER 11 |  CHAPTER 12 |  CHAPTER 13 |  CHAPTER 14 |  CHAPTER 15 |  CHAPTER 16 |  CHAPTER 17 |  CHAPTER 18 |  CHAPTER 19 |  CHAPTER 20 |  CHAPTER 21 |  CHAPTER 22 |  CHAPTER 23 |  CHAPTER 24 | CHAPTER 25 | CHAPTER 26 | CHAPTER 27 | BOOK 1: TWILIGHT | BOOK 2: NEW MOON | BOOK 4: BREAKING DAWN | MIDNIGHT SUN | BREE TANNER

Eclipse - Chapter 22

Fire and Ice

THE WIND SHOOK THE TENT AGAIN, AND I SHOOK WITH IT.
The temperature was dropping. I could feel it through the down bag, through my jacket. I
was fully dressed, my hiking boots still laced into place. It didn't make any difference. How
could it be so cold? How could itkeep getting colder? It had to bottom out sometime, didn't
it?

"W-w-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t-time is it?" I forced the words through my rattling teeth.
"Two," Edward answered.

Edward sat as far from me as possible in the cramped space, afraid to even breathe on me
when I was already so cold. It was too dark to see his face, but his voice was wild with
worry, indecision, and frustration.

"Maybe . . ."

"No, I'm f-f-f-f-f-fine, r-r-r-really. I don't w-w-w-want to g-go outside."

He'd tried to talk me into making a run for it a dozen times already, but I was terrified of
leaving my shelter. If it was this cold in here, protected from the raging wind, I could imagine
how bad it would be if we were running through it.

And it would waste all our efforts this afternoon. Would we have enough time to reset
ourselves when the storm was over? What if it didn't end? It made no sense to move now. I
could shiver my way through one night.

I was worried that the trail I had laid would be lost, but he promised that it would still be
plain to the coming monsters.

"What can I do?" he almost begged.

I just shook my head.

Out in the snow, Jacob whined unhappily.

"G-g-g-get out of h-h-h-ere," I ordered, again.

"He's just worried about you," Edward translated. "He's fine.His body is equipped to deal
with this."

"H-h-h-h-h-h." I wanted to say that he should still leave, but I couldn't get it past my teeth. I
nearly bit my tongue off trying. At least Jacobdid seem to be well equipped for the snow,
better even than the others in his pack with his thicker, longer, shaggy russet fur. I wondered
why that was.

Jacob whimpered, a high-pitched, grating sound of complaint.

"What do you want me to do?" Edward growled, too anxious to bother with politeness
anymore. "Carry her throughthat ? I don't see you making yourself useful. Why don't you go
fetch a space heater or something?"

"I'm ok-k-k-k-k-k-kay," I protested. Judging from Edward's groan and the muted growl
outside the tent, I hadn't convinced anyone. The wind rocked the tent roughly, and I
shuddered in harmony with it.

A sudden howl ripped through the roar of the wind, and I covered my ears against the noise.
Edward scowled.

"That was hardly necessary," he muttered. "And that's the worst idea I've ever heard," he
called more loudly.

"Better than anything you've come up with," Jacob answered, his human voice startling
me."Go fetch a space heater," he grumbled. "I'm not a St. Bernard."

I heard the sound of the zipper around the tent door pulling swiftly down.

Jacob slid through the smallest opening he could manage, while the arctic air flowed in
around him, a few flecks of snow falling to the floor of the tent. I shivered so hard it was a
convulsion.

"I don't like this," Edward hissed as Jake zipped the tent door shut. "Just give her the coat
and get out."

My eyes were adjusted enough to see shapes - Jacob was carrying the parka that had been
hanging on a tree next to the tent.

I tried to ask what they were talking about, but all that came out of my mouth was,
"W-w-w-w-w-w," as the shivering made me stutter uncontrollably.

"The parka's for tomorrow - she's too cold to warm it up by herself. It's frozen." He dropped
it by the door. "You said she needed a space heater, and here I am." Jacob held his arms as
wide as the tent allowed. As usual, when he'd been running around as a wolf, he'd only
thrown on the bare essentials - just a pair of sweats, no shirt, no shoes.

"J-J-J-J-Jake, you'll f-f-f-freez-z-z-ze," I tried to complain.

"Not me," he said cheerfully. "I run at a toasty one-oh-eight point nine these days. I'll have
you sweating in no time."

Edward snarled, but Jacob didn't even look at him. Instead, he crawled to my side and started
unzipping my sleeping bag.

Edward's hand was suddenly hard on his shoulder, restraining, snow white against the dark
skin. Jacob's jaw clenched, his nostrils flaring, his body recoiling from the cold touch. The
long muscles in his arms flexed automatically.

"Get your hand off of me," he growled through his teeth.

"Keep your hands off of her," Edward answered blackly.

"D-d-d-don't f-f-f-f-fight," I pleaded. Another tremor rocked through me. It felt like my teeth
were going to shatter, they were slamming together so hard.

"I'm sure she'll thank you for this when her toes turn black and drop off," Jacob snapped.

Edward hesitated, then his hand fell away and he slid back to his position in the corner.

His voice was flat and frightening. "Watch yourself."

Jacob chuckled.

"Scoot over, Bella," he said, zipping the sleeping bag open farther.

I stared at him in outrage. No wonder Edward was reacting this way.

"N-n-n-n-n," I tried to protest.

"Don't be stupid," he said, exasperated. "Don't youlike having ten toes?"

He crammed his body into the nonexistent space, forcing the zipper up behind himself.

And then I couldn't object - I didn't want to anymore. He was so warm. His arms constricted
around me, holding me snugly against his bare chest. The heat was irresistible, like air after
being underwater for too long. He cringed when I pressed my icy fingers eagerly against his
skin.

"Jeez, you're freezing, Bella," he complained.

"S-s-s-s-sorry," I stuttered.

"Try to relax," he suggested as another shiver rippled through me violently. "You'll be warm
in a minute. Of course, you'd warm up faster if you took your clothes off."

Edward growled sharply.

"That's just a simple fact," Jacob defended himself. "Survival one-oh-one."

"C-c-cut it out, Jake," I said angrily, though my body refused to even try to pull away from
him. "N-n-n-nobody really n-n-n-n-needs all ten t-t-t-toes."

"Don't worry about the bloodsucker," Jacob suggested, and his tone was smug. "He's just
jealous."

"Of course I am." Edward's voice was velvet again, under control, a musical murmur in the
darkness. "You don't have the faintest idea how much I wish I could do what you're doing
for her, mongrel."

"Those are the breaks," Jacob said lightly, but then his tone soured. "At least you know she
wishes it was you."

"True," Edward agreed.

The shuddering slowed, became bearable while they wrangled.

"There," Jacob said, pleased. "Feeling better?"

I was finally able to speak clearly. "Yes."

"Your lips are still blue," he mused. "Want me to warm those up for you, too? You only have
to ask."

Edward sighed heavily.

"Behave yourself," I muttered, pressing my face against his shoulder. He flinched again when
my cold skin touched his, and I smiled with slightly vindictive satisfaction.

It was already warm and snug inside the sleeping bag. Jacob's body heat seemed to radiate
from every side - maybe because there was somuch of him. I kicked my boots off, and pushed
my toes against his legs. He jumped slightly, and then leaned his head down to press his hot
cheek against my numb ear.

I noticed that Jacob's skin had a woodsy, musky scent - it fit the setting, here in the middle of
the forest. It was nice. I wondered if the Cullens and the Quileutes weren't just playing up
that whole odor issue because of their prejudices. Everyone smelled fine to me.

The storm howled like an animal attacking the tent, but it didn't worry me now. Jacob was
out of the cold, and so was I. Plus, I was simply too exhausted to worry about anything -
tired from just staying awake so late, and aching from the muscle spasms. My body relaxed
slowly as I thawed, piece by frozen piece, and then turned limp.

"Jake?" I mumbled sleepily. "Can I ask you something? I'm not trying to be a jerk or
anything, I'm honestly curious." They were the same words he'd used in my kitchen . . . how
long ago was it now?
"Sure," he chuckled, remembering.
"Why are you so much furrier than your friends? You don't have to answer if I'm being rude."
I didn't know the rules for etiquette as they applied to werewolf culture.

"Because my hair is longer," he said, amused - my question hadn't offended him, at least. He
shook his head so that his unkempt hair - grown out to his chin now - tickled my cheek.
"Oh." I was surprised, but it made sense. So that was why they'd all cropped their hair in the
beginning, when they joined the pack. "Then why don't you cut it? Do you like to be
shaggy?"

He didn't answer right away this time, and Edward laughed under his breath.

"Sorry," I said, pausing to yawn. "I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to tell me."

Jacob made an annoyed sound. "Oh, he'll tell you anyway, so I might as well. . . . I was
growing my hair out because . . . it seemed like you liked it better long."

"Oh." I felt awkward. "I, er, like it both ways, Jake. You don't need to be . . .
inconvenienced."

He shrugged. "Turns out it was very convenient tonight, so don't worry about it."

I didn't have anything else to say. As the silence lengthened, my eyelids drooped and shut,
and my breathing grew slower, more even.

"That's right, honey, go to sleep," Jacob whispered.

I sighed, content, already half-unconscious.

"Seth is here," Edward muttered to Jacob, and I suddenly understood the point of the
howling.

"Perfect. Now you can keep an eye on everything else, while I take care of your girlfriend for
you."

Edward didn't answer, but I groaned groggily. "Stop it," I muttered.

It was quiet then, inside at least. Outside, the wind shrieked insanely through the trees. The
shimmying of the tent made it hard to sleep. The poles would suddenly jerk and quiver,
pulling me back from the edge of unconsciousness each time I was close to slipping under. I
felt so bad for the wolf, the boy that was stuck outside in the snow.

My mind wandered as I waited for sleep to find me. This warm little space made me think of
the early days with Jacob, and I remembered how it used to be when he was my replacement
sun, the warmth that made my empty life livable. It had been a while since I'd thought of
Jake that way, but here he was, warming me again.

"Please!" Edward hissed. "Do youmind !"

"What?" Jacob whispered back, his tone surprised.

"Do you think you couldattempt to control your thoughts?" Edward's low whisper was
furious.

"No one said you had to listen," Jacob muttered, defiant, yet still embarrassed. "Get out of
my head."

"I wish Icould. You have no idea how loud your little fantasies are. It's like you're shouting
them at me."

"I'll try to keep it down," Jacob whispered sarcastically.

There was a brief moment of silence.

"Yes," Edward answered an unspoken thought in a murmur so low I barely made it out. "I'm
jealous of that, too."

"I figured it was like that," Jacob whispered smugly. "Sort of evens the playing field up a
little, doesn't it?"

Edward chuckled. "In your dreams."

"You know, she could still change her mind," Jacob taunted him. "Consideringall the things I
could do with her that you can't. At least, not without killing her, that is."

"Go to sleep, Jacob," Edward murmured. "You're starting to get on my nerves."
"I think I will. I'm really very comfortable."

Edward didn't answer.

I was too far gone to ask them to stop talking about me like I wasn't there. The conversation
had taken on a dreamlike quality to me, and I wasn't sure I was really awake.

"Maybe I would," Edward said after a moment, answering a question I hadn't heard.
"But would you be honest?"

"You can always ask and see." Edward's tone made me wonder if I was missing out on a
joke.

"Well, you see inside my head - let me see inside yours tonight, it's only fair," Jacob said.

"Your head is full of questions. Which one do you want me to answer?"

"The jealousy . . . ithas to be eating at you. You can't be as sure of yourself as you seem.

Unless you have no emotions at all."

"Of course it is," Edward agreed, no longer amused. "Right now it's so bad that I can barely
control my voice. Of course, it's even worse when she's away from me, with you, and I can't
see her."

"Do you think about it all the time?" Jacob whispered. "Does it make it hard to concentrate
when she's not with you?"

"Yes and no," Edward said; he seemed determined to answer honestly. "My mind doesn't
work quite the same as yours. I can think of many more things at one time. Of course, that
means that I'malways able to think of you, always able to wonder if that's where her mind is,
when she's quiet and thoughtful."

They were both still for a minute.

"Yes, I would guess that she thinks about you often," Edward murmured in response to
Jacob's thoughts. "More often than I like. She worries that you're unhappy. Not that you
don't know that. Not that you don'tuse that."

"I have to use whatever I can," Jacob muttered. "I'm not working with your advantages -
advantages like her knowing she's in love with you."

"That helps," Edward agreed in a mild tone.

Jacob was defiant. "She's in love with me, too, you know."

Edward didn't answer.

Jacob sighed. "But shedoesn't know it."

"I can't tell you if you're right."

"Does that bother you? Do you wish you could see what she's thinking, too?"

"Yes . . . and no, again. She likes it better this way, and, though it sometimes drives me
insane, I'd rather she was happy."
The wind ripped around the tent, shaking it like an earthquake. Jacob's arms tightened
around me protectively.
"Thank you," Edward whispered. "Odd as this might sound, I suppose I'm glad you're here,
Jacob."
"You mean, 'as much as I'd love to kill you, I'm glad she's warm,' right?"
"It's an uncomfortable truce, isn't it?"

Jacob's whisper was suddenly smug. "I knew you were just as crazy jealous as I am."
"I'm not such a fool as to wear it on my sleeve like you do. It doesn't help your case, you
know."

"You have more patience than I do."

"I should. I've had a hundred years to gain it. A hundred years of waiting forher. "

"So . . . at what point did you decide to play the very patient good guy?"

"When I saw how much it was hurting her to make her choose. It's not usually this difficult
to control. I can smother the . . . less civilized feelings I may have for you fairly easily most of
the time. Sometimes I think she sees through me, but I can't be sure."

"I think you were just worried that if you really forced her to choose, she might not choose
you."

Edward didn't answer right away. "That was a part of it," he finally admitted. "But only a
small part. We all have our moments of doubt. Mostly I was worried that she'd hurt herself
trying to sneak away to see you. After I'd accepted that she was more or less safe with you -
as safe as Bella ever is - it seemed best to stop driving her to extremes."

Jacob sighed. "I'd tell her all of this, but she'd never believe me."

"I know." It sounded like Edward was smiling.

"You think you know everything," Jacob muttered.

"I don't know the future," Edward said, his voice suddenly unsure.

There was a long pause.

"What would you do if she changed her mind?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know that either."

Jacob chuckled quietly. "Would you try to kill me?" Sarcastic again, as if doubting Edward's
ability to do it.

"No."

"Why not?" Jacob's tone was still jeering.

"Do you really think I would hurt her that way?"

Jacob hesitated for a second, and then sighed. "Yeah, you're right. I know that's right. But
sometimes . . ."

"Sometimes it's an intriguing idea."

Jacob pressed his face into the sleeping bag to muffle his laugher. "Exactly," he eventually
agreed.

What a strange dream this was. I wondered if it was the relentless wind that made me
imagine all the whispering. Only the wind was screaming rather than whispering . . .
"What is it like? Losing her?" Jacob asked after a quiet moment, and there was no hint of
humor in his suddenly hoarse voice. "When you thought that you'd lost her forever? How did
you . . . cope?"

"That's very difficult for me to talk about."

Jacob waited.

"There were two different times that I thought that." Edward spoke each word just a little
slower than normal. "The first time, when I thought I could leave her . . . that was . . . almost
bearable. Because I thought she would forget me and it would be like I hadn't touched her
life. For over six months I was able to stay away, to keep my promise that I wouldn't
interfere again. It was getting close - I was fighting but I knew I wasn't going to win; I
would have come back . . . just to check on her. That's what I would have told myself,
anyway. And if I'd found her reasonably happy . . . I like to think that I could have gone away
again.

"But she wasn't happy. And I would have stayed. That's how she convinced me to stay with
her tomorrow, of course. You were wondering about that before, what could possibly
motivate me . . . what she was feeling so needlessly guilty about. She reminded me of what it
did to her when I left - what it still does to her when I leave. She feels horrible about
bringing that up, but she's right. I'll never be able to make up for that, but I'll never stop
trying anyway."

Jacob didn't respond for a moment, listening to the storm or digesting what he'd heard, I
didn't know which.

"And the other time - when you thought she was dead?" Jacob whispered roughly.
"Yes." Edward answered a different question. "It will probably feel like that to you, won't it?
The way you perceive us, you might not be able to see her asBella anymore. But that's who
she'll be."

"That's not what I asked."

Edward's voice came back fast and hard. "I can't tell you how it felt. There aren't words."
Jacob's arms flexed around me.

"But you left because you didn't want to make her a bloodsucker. Youwant her to be
human."

Edward spoke slowly. "Jacob, from the second that I realized that I loved her, I knew there
were only four possibilities. The first alternative, the best one for Bella, would be if she didn't
feel as strongly for me - if she got over me and moved on. I would accept that, though it
would never change the way I felt. You think of me as a . . . living stone - hard and cold.
That's true. We are set the way we are, and it is very rare for us to experience a real change.
When that happens, as when Bella entered my life, it is a permanent change. There's no
going back. . . .

"The second alternative, the one I'd originally chosen, was to stay with her throughout her
human life. It wasn't a good option for her, to waste her life with someone who couldn't be
human with her, but it was the alternative I could most easily face. Knowing all along that,
when she died, I would find a way to die, too. Sixty years, seventy years - it would seem like
a very, very short time to me. . . . But then it proved much too dangerous for her to live in
such close proximity with my world. It seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Or
hung over us . . . waiting to go wrong. I was terrified that I wouldn't get those sixty years if I
stayed near her while she was human.

"So I chose option three. Which turned out to be the worst mistake of my very long life, as
you know. I chose to take myself out of her world, hoping to force her into the first
alternative. It didn't work, and it very nearly killed us both.

"What do I have left but the fourth option? It's what she wants - at least, she thinks she does.
I've been trying to delay her, to give her time to find a reason to change her mind, but she's
very . . . stubborn. You knowthat. I'll be lucky to stretch this out a few more months. She has
a horror of getting older, and her birthday is in September. . . ."

"I like option one," Jacob muttered.

Edward didn't respond.

"You knowexactly how much I hate to accept this," Jacob whispered slowly, "but I can see
that you do love her . . . in your way. I can't argue with that anymore.

"Given that, I don't think you should give up on the first alternative, not yet. I think there's a
very good chance that she would be okay. After time. You know, if she hadn't jumped off a
cliff in March . . . and if you'd waited another six months to check on her. . . . Well, you
might have found her reasonably happy. I had a game plan."

Edward chuckled. "Maybe it would have worked. It was a well thought-out plan."
"Yeah." Jake sighed. "But . . . ," suddenly he was whispering so fast the words got tangled,
"give me a year, bl - Edward. I really think I could make her happy. She's stubborn, no one
knows that better than I do, but she's capable of healing. She would have healed before. And
she could be human, with Charlie and Renée, and she could grow up, and have kids and . . .
be Bella.

"You love her enough that you have to see the advantages of that plan. She thinks you're
very unselfish . . . are you really? Can you consider the idea that I might be better for her than
you are?"

"Ihave considered it," Edward answered quietly. "In some ways, you would be better suited
for her than another human. Bella takes some looking after, and you're strong enough that
you could protect her from herself, and from everything that conspires against her. Youhave
done that already, and I'll owe you for that for as long as I live - forever - whichever comes
first. . . .

"I even asked Alice if she could see that - see if Bella would be better off with you. She
couldn't, of course. She can't see you, and then Bella's sure of her course, for now.
"But I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake I made before, Jacob. I won't try to
force her into that first option again. As long as she wants me, I'm here."

"And if she were to decide that she wanted me?" Jacob challenged. "Okay, it's a long shot,
I'll give you that."

"I would let her go."

"Just like that?"

"In the sense that I'd never show her how hard it was for me, yes. But I would keep watch.
You see, Jacob,you might leaveher someday. Like Sam and Emily, you wouldn't have a
choice. I would always be waiting in the wings, hoping for that to happen."

Jacob snorted quietly. "Well, you've been much more honest than I had any right to expect . .
. Edward. Thanks for letting me in your head."

"As I said, I'm feeling oddly grateful for your presence in her life tonight. It was the least I
could do. . . . You know, Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural enemies and that
you're also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you."
"Maybe . . . if you weren't a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck out the life of the
girl I love . . . well, no, not even then."

Edward chuckled.

"Can I ask you something?" Edward said after a moment.

"Why would you have to ask?"

"I can only hear if you think of it. It's just a story that Bella seemed reluctant to tell me about
the other day. Something about a third wife . . . ?"

"What about it?"

Edward didn't answer, listening to the story in Jacob's head. I heard his low hiss in the
darkness.

"What?" Jacob demanded again.

"Of course," Edward seethed. "Of course! I rather wish your elders had keptthat story to
themselves, Jacob."

"You don't like the leeches being painted as the bad guys?" Jacob mocked. "You know,
theyare. Thenand now."

"I really couldn't care less about that part. Can't you guess which character Bella would
identify with?"

It took Jacob a minute. "Oh. Ugh. The third wife. Okay, I see your point."

"She wants to be there in the clearing. To do what little she can, as she puts it." He sighed.
"That was the secondary reason for my staying with her tomorrow. She's quite inventive
when she wants something."

"You know, your military brother gave her the idea just as much as the story did."

"Neither side meant any harm," Edward whispered, peace-making now.

"And when doesthis little truce end?" Jacob asked. "First light? Or do we wait until after the
fight?"

There was a pause as they both considered.

"First light," they whispered together, and then laughed quietly.

"Sleep well, Jacob," Edward murmured. "Enjoy the moment."

It was quiet again, and the tent held still for a few minutes. The wind seemed to have
decided that it wasn't going to flatten us after all, and was giving up the fight.

Edward groaned softly. "I didn't mean that quite so literally."

"Sorry," Jacob whispered. "You could leave, you know - give us a little privacy."

"Would you like me tohelp you sleep, Jacob?" Edward offered.

"You could try," Jacob said, unconcerned. "It would be interesting to see who walked away,
wouldn't it?"

"Don't tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isn'tthat perfect."

Jacob whispered a laugh. "I'd rather not move just now, if you don't mind."

Edward started humming to himself, louder than usual - trying to drown out Jacob's
thoughts, I assumed. But it was my lullaby he hummed, and, despite my growing discomfort
with this whispered dream, I sank deeper into unconsciousness . . . into other dreams that
made better sense. . . .